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Step 1: Go buy all of this Look at all these great ingredients! Make sure you have a little extra. They are super cheap and what if your friends want some of your delicious new meal. You have to be prepared.

Step 2: Heat this up in the frying pan You have to let it simmer for quite some time. It’s kind of a slow cook sort of thing. You can tell it’s done when it starts smelling delicious. Just look at that hot steam cooking action!

Step 3: Put it on a plate and eat that shit up! Eat it on up. If you made it correctly you’ll be able to taste the myriad of flavor this dish has to offer. Just because it’s cheap doesn’t mean it has to taste like crap! Make sure to make enough for your roommates. Remember it’s super healthy too so you won’t gain any weight!

Step 4: Enjoy. Sit back pour yourself a glass of whiskey and enjoy a fine meal by yourself or with friends. Once you’ve saved enough money eating this, you can finally move off your friends couch and into a home of your own.

(Actually it’s probably smarter just to steal your roommates food and get a job. You bum.)

I was having trouble at first deciding on a W.I.G. winner this year. Climbing is trouble that way because nearly everything we use follows a specific function. I mean we have some over designed peices (coughthesquidcough) and some other seriously supurfluous gear but these things aren’t necessarily terrible. When I was conveying my difficulties in nailing down a solid candidate a friend piped in with a new jacket out that allowed it’s owner to unzip pouches and actually stuff it with whatever happened to be lying around IN ORDER TO KEEP WARM. Imagine you’re just walking around in the wilderness and you’re thinking to yourself I’m a little chilly. With this coat you can just grab more leaves or animal pelts or your friends extra jacket and stick it INSIDE this jacket. DIY wamrth.

I didn’t believe him but held onto a hope that this jacket might actually be for sale somewhere. Lo and behold, it does in fact exist and it does in fact cost nearly a hundred dollars. Merrell who I don’t believe has been in the coat game that long really swung for the form follows function fences with the Gatherer jacket. I mean, it doesn’t get much simpler than, putting more things on top of you if you’re cold. Plus this jacket is ugly. Straight up. Homeless people have been using this technology for years, using leaves and newspapers to keep their asses from freezing off. They also light barrels of trash on fire, but I’m not sure if I’m sold on that one either. Congrats Merrell your W.I.G. award is in the mail.

All I have to say about Wig is that he is simultaneously the most irresponsible and charismatic person I’ve ever met. The guy has talked me into doing more dumb shit than anybody I know. He talked me into leading S-wall, which is 5.9, 220 feet, and 3 bolts. Jesus. He’s also talked me into doing things with my money(usually the Casino) I usually wouldn’t dream of. Allow me to illustrate.

A couple years when we used to live together we were shit broke. We were usually broke, but that day it was BAD– we probably had $40 between the two of us. We had scammed enough gullible kids with rich parents into paying for our gas on a climbing day trip. We had made a gas station pit stop and we’re wondering around looking at shit, and he finds this electric flyswatter. It’s one these contraptions which looks like a fly swatter but uses batteries and claims to actually electrocute insects. Wig spent 30 minutes convincing me that this thing was AWESOME. It does shock the little fuckers with like 1500V, so he may have had a point.

It cost like $15 which was damn near 40% of our combined disposable income.And andrew wants to buy it! To me, that’s the height of irresponsibility. But you know what? He talked me into helping buy that piece of shit. Left to my own devices, an electronic fly swatter is the LAST thing i would ever buy, especially not with a maxed out credit card and 20 bucks in the bank. That folks, is Charisma. It’s why I love the Wig-he can talk you into doing shit that nobody else on earth ever could. Except, possibly, Sienna Miller giving you bedroom eyes.

Cheers mutherfucker.! Lets get drunk.