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Shaken Sport Climber Syndrome

23 December 2008 540 views 5 Comments
posted by limit

Belaying for a sport climber is a big responsibility. It is something you should consider carefully before committing to it. Unfortunately, just like parenthood, the responsibility sneaks up on a lot of belayers who just aren’t quite ready for the emotional stress involved. Any belayer out there will tell you that sport climbers can be irritable (especially if not fed organic almond butter four times per day), selfish, and cranky. When their position on 8a.nu is threatened, they can get bitchy and sometimes downright mean. Sometimes they start kicking, screaming and throwing things, just like a baby. And sometimes you just want to shake your sport climber and say “just chill the fuck out you childish littler bitch.”


Shaken Sport Climber Syndrome(SPCS) is a serious problem. We understand that your sport climber can become hard to get along with, especially during periods of poor sleep or high humidity. We understand that the urge to shake a sport climber when they start acting this way can be overwhelming. But we also want to warn you that it can be downright dangerous.

Sport climbers are fragile. Shaking one can instantly damage their psyche and ego. Some shaken sport climbers have even quit climbing, or worse, started trad climbing. No matter how strong the urge, no matter how bitchy your sport climber gets, remember, NEVER shake a sport climber. If you need to, call a responsible adult for help or in dire situations, simply tie them off and walk away. Whatever you do, NEVER SHAKE A SPORT CLIMBER!

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  • AB
    AB said:

    Why shake them when you can shoot them in the face with a rifle?

    • Chubby F
      Chubby F said:

      What if they’re hanging on the end of the rope shakin’ all by theirsselves? How do we help?

      • steph davis
        steph davis said:

        we need to be compassionate, and understand that life is really hard sometimes. compassion compassion compassion. it’s not all about you, it’s all about your sport climber!!
        no one said it was easy to be a good belayer. i recommend reading the complete writings of the Dalai Lama before taking on this responsibility.

        • furry
          furry said:

          My antics have caused many to postulate that perhaps I was shaken as a sport climbing infant, I resent that.

          • Mr. 5.12
            Mr. 5.12 said:

            “Have you ever belayed a **12** before?”

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