You know it. I know it. American climbing. It’s awesome. Well… I haven’t exactly climbed out the country yet so I’m not sure if I’m an expert on that, but since ignorance occasionally seems to be another tenant of ‘Murkan culture I’m gonna run with it. In honor of Independence Day I’ve decided that we need some good old fashioned Americana in this post. So crack open a freedom bomb, read up, and enjoy the rest of the holiday by…
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I know this is way old news for any of you who keep up with our friend over at climbingnarc, but Big Willie decided a week or so ago to just take a piss all over Cobra Crack. He made the 5th ascent of the line and according to Sonnie’s blog this puts Will’s new GEAR ascent a grade over his hardest sport route which I think you’ll agree is just as awesome as can be. Oh he’s also 22. and Canadian, so raise the Crown Royal tonight and say eh for our friends to the north that climb much harder than us.
Watch the video of his high point prior to send here or here
I want to write more about this, but there is not much else to say and I want to drink some whiskey. Congrats Will on being awesome. It’s something we can all aspire to. Being awesome I mean.
Last time it seemed everyone liked the group of fake ads we created, so me and Andy Chasteen got together and made a few more for you. I think I might pitch a few of these to TNF and 5.10. They have to go for them right? I should have gone into advertising. The last one is one Andy made for Wig’s super awesome advice column. (more…)
I saw something like this about facial hair on another site and thought it was just too obvious to adapt to climbing. Harnesses say a lot about a person. Just look and learn.
What you think this says about you: I’m a young hot sport climber. I climb so hard I might be sponsored if I’m not I’m certainly going to be. I’m a person you probably want to meet. I’m fun and love wearing the latest fashunz.
What it really says about you: a) I’m kind of a douche b) I’m poor and I got this for free from my sponsored friend. c) I am a pro climber and you should fucking know who I am.
Quote you might hear from this climber: “IMA PROFESSIONAL! JJJYYYEEEAHHHH!!!”
Most frequented crags: Rifle, Red River Gorge, Ceuse, Southern Utah, The Boulder Rock Club
Good for: Pro climbers, wannabe pro climbers, friends of pro climbers, looking like an ass
Sometimes I get the occasional email asking for help. I don’t mind this. Despite looking like a selfish, self-absorbed bastard (I mean look at the photo I used. It’s me. I guess I do see why people think that), I do in fact like helping others. I have no idea why people think my advice is worth shit, but I’ll dish it out like bread sticks at Olive Garden any day. Check it. Our first letter comes from Ms.Dyan (more…)
Huge Fucking Cams
Who the hell is this guy walking up? I thought this was MY crag. I wonder if he knows I submitted all these routes to Mountain Project and that I organize the Piece of Shit Road Cut Crag Cleanup every year? Oh jesus. He’s wearing all cotton. Ha. What a fucking idiot. This choad is probably a gym rat who has never climbed outside. Let’s see how you do without red tape to guide the way, princess. WTF? Why does he have such a hot girl with him? I bet she doesn’t know only retards venture outside in cotton. Maybe I should point out that my entire wardrobe is synthetic? That would probably make me look hardcore and attractive to that little betty. I bet this loser doesn’t even know what “wicking” means. And I’ll also bet I can steal that chick if I demonstrate a thorough understanding of Gor-tex. (more…)
