Friday Fight Night
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I was inspired by Bronco’s endorsement strategy for the president. Of course! Who would win in a fight? That’s perfect! I thought maybe we should have a different sort of fight every week. Mine is a little more twisted it’s less who wins in a fight and more who wins the most categories. To start I’m bringing two heavyweights to the ring to duke it out and determine who finally is the baddest ass of them all.
FINGER COUNT
Edge: Dean
FINGER USAGE
Dean climbs harder than most humans using 10 banana sized fingers v. Tommy climbs harder than most humans using 9.5
Edge: Tommy
BOULDERING HIGH BALLS
Dean’s scary solos of boulders that are too tall to be considered boulders v. …wait. Tommy and bouldering?
Edge: Dean
WOMEN
Steph Davis v. Beth Rodwell
Edge: both winners. You can’t make me pick between those.
BIG WALLS
Tommy’s Nose/Freerider ( 60+ pitches up to 5.14b) one day ascent v. Listen Dean, I’m sorry, but you lose the big wall category.
Edge: Tommy
MORE LIKELY TO GET INTO A CLUB
This v. This
Edge: Probably neither but we’ll go with Dean.
DEATH WISH/INSANITY FACTOR
Well, Dean’s got this, this, this, and this v. Tommy’s got…this
Edge: Dean
Alright. Well by my count that’s Dean 5, Tommy 3.
I’m certain there are more categories but frankly I’m tired of thinking about these two dudes. Add your own categories and answers in the comments.
How about the “Not Being a Douchebag By Illegally Climbing Desert Towers In a Very Public Manner” category?
Edge: Tommy
Hey, bandwagon naysayer! That wasn’t as big a deal as everyone said it was, plus it’s all in the past.
the porno sweat black and white photo is enough to disqualify dean from everything.
banned i say.
I thought he looked pretty hot in that photo….edge Dean.
When kidnapped while in Kyrgyzstan, Tommy THREW HIS CAPTOR OFF A CLIFF.
http://outside.away.com/outside/magazine/200011/200011hostages1.html
Read page 7.
Winner: Tommy
oh shit i forgot about that one. Tommy definitely gets an extra point for full on badassery.
holy shit i havent heard about that time child is my hero
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