until five minutes ago, I never realized that “Pandora’s box” was a double entendre…
In the spirit of everybody getting along during kwanzaa-hanukkah-christmas-ramadan, we thought you all might enjoy this, especially if you’ve ever seen one of these.
Sometimes you just can’t send. It doesn’t matter how much you tweak your beta, how hard you try, how often you try, or long you rest. No matter what you do, it just never happens. It is times like these that try climbers souls. In those trying times, try some or all of these hints. They will make you send. I promise.
1. Stop Washing The Dishes
Climbers seem to spend more time fussing over the condition of their skin than a conspiracy theorist researching the melting temperature of structural steel. We all know that prolonged exposure to water makes you skin prune and get softer than a 12 year olds dick. I mean, do you really think that the skin in FIGURE 1 is going to be crimping very much? NO. Climbers know this, yet this keep washing their dishes. It’s like they want something to bitch about at the crag. QUIT WASHING YOUR DISHES. Seriously. Unless you like crying like a little bitch on your project. And while your at it, quit washing your hands. Swine flu be damned!
Holy shit it’s been a while yeah? We are lame, you’ve heard it before, we’re sorry, we’ll try harder blah blah blah. You don’t care about our excuses, so I won’t give them to you.
The crew here would like to pay some respect to ice climbers. We went ice climbing. Well Bronco and Limit went ice climbing. I walked around like an idiot with 6 jackets on and my snowboarding pants and sneakers freezing my ass off while a spectacle of mini-epic proportions unfolded before my eyes.
As you all may have guessed, Team P and C has a special aversion to the cold. We like it comfortable. Sticky rock, climbing in t-shirts and belaying in jackets. That’s ideal right there. We like placing gear and clipping bolts. We don’t do the soloing thing too much, and run outs are alright on the right terrain. Anyway. Ice climbing doesn’t seem to have any of this which is ESPECIALLY troublesome for a bunch of bumblikins like us.
Here’s a list of things that happened yesterday: (more…)
Oh you know them when you see them. And if you don’t know the ways to identify them there is a really good chance you ARE the bumbler.
1. Janglies
I don’t know how else to describe these things. They’ve always got them. It’s like little pieces of flair they attach to their harnesses and or backpacks. None of it is useful too. Like they’ll take an extra locking biner up a sport route, or their grigri. Or they decorate their school bags with carabiners and Nalgenes. Carabiners are not accessories! I know because I have one as a keychain. Instead of Occam’s razor I’m going to start calling it Sharma’s razor. Cut out everything that isn’t totally necessary e.g. get rid of the daisy chain thong. Really. (more…)
I know I know it’s been a week since we posted anything. We’re sorry. In between climbing and looking for work that actually pays money and the other two actually WORKING we’ve been… busy. Or something. Anyway. Tentatively Whiskey Wednesday is going to our friend Sonnie Trotter who is giving a slide show tonight at Neptunes in Boulder. I know that doesn’t apply to all of you and I’m sorry. It WILL be amazing.
Next is the Adventure Film Festival happening around these parts again. From Novermber 12-14 there is a lot happening. What? You don’t believe me? There’s too much going on for me to even post in this post. You need to go here and check it out because it will no doubt be worth whatever it takes to get to these events. More to come on this, but for now it’s time for me to go drink some WHISKEY. And I promise tomorrow there will be some awesome new content for you.