Articles in the Featured Category
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Holy shit! Somehow our website is still here! I thought for sure our domain would have expired and been bought by some site poaching dickwad a long time ago, but luckily for you they haven’t.
For that last six months, we’ve been drunk. That’s why we haven’t posted. Normally though, drunkenness would only encourage our posting but this was a different kind of drunk. It was the kind of drunk where everyone got responsible. Limit and Bronco were working all…
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Quite often, I have friends tell me about the adventures they are about to go on or have just gotten back from–Yosemite, Patagonia, The Black Canyon, The Bugaboos. This usually succeeds in making me jealous, partly because I wish I could afford these far away magical Valhallas and partly because I wish I had the cojones to actually climb the routes there. Instead of saving my pennies and dimes or cultivating a better lead head, I have learned how to…
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One of our friends posted this. We thought it was funny. Harvey and Venus take a trip through ambiguity to discuss some new school shit.
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Living in the front range and especially living near boulder, I hear a lot about sustainable living, being green, conserving, being responsible. I’m told that as a climber, I should care about these things even more. I’m also told that as an(supposedly) educated person, I should be able to think and analyze this stuff for myself. Here is what I’ve come up with.
Get Fat and Smoke
Fat people eat more, this is true (the methane gas produced…
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In the spirit of everybody getting along during kwanzaa-hanukkah-christmas-ramadan, we thought you all might enjoy this, especially if you’ve ever seen one of these.
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Sometimes you just can’t send. It doesn’t matter how much you tweak your beta, how hard you try, how often you try, or long you rest. No matter what you do, it just never happens. It is times like these that try climbers souls. In those trying times, try some or all of these hints. They will make you send. I promise.
1. Stop Washing The Dishes
Climbers seem to spend more time fussing over the condition of their skin than a conspiracy theorist researching the melting temperature of structural steel. We all know that prolonged exposure to water makes you skin prune and get softer than a 12 year olds dick. I mean, do you really think that the skin in FIGURE 1 is going to be crimping very much? NO. Climbers know this, yet this keep washing their dishes. It’s like they want something to bitch about at the crag. QUIT WASHING YOUR DISHES. Seriously. Unless you like crying like a little bitch on your project. And while your at it, quit washing your hands. Swine flu be damned!
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Oh you know them when you see them. And if you don’t know the ways to identify them there is a really good chance you ARE the bumbler.
1. Janglies
I don’t know how else to describe these things. They’ve always got them. It’s like little pieces of flair they attach to their harnesses and or backpacks. None of it is useful too. Like they’ll take an extra locking biner up a sport route, or their grigri.…
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Everyone loves Halloween. Parties are happening everywhere, there is an abundance of free candy, and girls dress up in slutty outfits just because they can get away with it. As we get older though, the motivation to dress up seems to wear off a little. We can’t go door to door and get candy from sweet old ladies. We don’t have class Halloween parties to attend anymore. Our parents aren’t buying us our costumes anymore either. With that in mind…
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Seems that every city in the universe has a climbing gym, some better than others. Out here in the front range, where every third person climbs 5.13, we are lucky enough to have 3 1/2 climbing/training facilities. While all of them have their attributes, the new kid on the block, Movement, seems to have their shit pretty dialed in…
