Sometimes you just can’t send. It doesn’t matter how much you tweak your beta, how hard you try, how often you try, or long you rest. No matter what you do, it just never happens. It is times like these that try climbers souls. In those trying times, try some or all of these hints. They will make you send. I promise.

1. Stop Washing The Dishes

Climbers seem to spend more time fussing over the condition of their skin than a conspiracy theorist researching the melting temperature of structural steel. We all know that prolonged exposure to water makes you skin prune and get softer than a 12 year olds dick. I mean, do you really think that the skin in FIGURE 1 is going to be crimping very much? NO. Climbers know this, yet this keep washing their dishes. It’s like they want something to bitch about at the crag. QUIT WASHING YOUR DISHES. Seriously. Unless you like crying like a little bitch on your project. And while your at it, quit washing your hands. Swine flu be damned!

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