The Reign of Time Child
For sometime now Mancamp (P and C Headquarters) has been referring to Tommy Caldwell as Time Child. I think Limit started it and no one even knows what it means but it seemed like the right thing to call him. Plus it’s the same initials. We’re sorry Tommy, but we respect you too much to leave you out.
Anyway. We were drinking last night (surprise…) and were reminiscing about some of the things we’ve seen or heard of Time Child do in the past. Enjoy.
One time I saw Time Child punch send the whole SuperCrack buttress in a day when he finished he wanted to climb another route so he punched the wall as hard as he could to create Incredible Hand Crack.
One time I saw Time Child having sex. This isn’t too extraordinary but he was climbing Midnight Lightning at the same time.
One time I saw Time Child take a dump in RMNP. That dump is now Jade.
One time I saw Time Child onsite Vitamin H in Rifle. He didn’t like the route when he finished it so he ripped the whole lower half of the route off the wall.
One time Jesus came back for the rapture but Time Child hadn’t finished his project so he told them to come back later.
One time I saw Time Child spit in Chis Sharma’s matte. He sent Jumbo Love that day.
One time I saw Time Child climb two El Cap routes in less than 24 hours.
Time Child wouldn’t have dropped that girl in Cliff Hanger.
When Time Child cut off his finger the doctors offered to reattach it but he told them to fuck off because it was just dead weight.
When Time Child freed Magic Mushroom on El Cap, El Cap became pregnant.
When Time Child makes his morning smoothie he uses bananas, blueberries, rocks from the moon, a whole puppy, and his secret ingredient, BEEF. He also blends them with his hands.
One time I saw Time Child challenge Peter Parker to a climb off. Time Child won.
Any of you have you’re own sightings? post em up in the comments.