Both Bronco and I have jobs that let us work outside. Usually this is great, especially because you get random days of because of shitty weather. This, however is a mixed blessing. Weather being the unpredictable animal it is, we usually have a good feeling that we’ll have say, Thursday off because the weatherman has predicted almost guaranteed rain. But nothing is certain till 7 am when you get a call from the boss. This basically means you have two options for midweek drinking. Either wait till you actually have the day off for certain and get drunk in the middle of the day (fun but it gets old) or gamble with your fate, go out to Whiskey Wednesday, and pray to everything that was ever holy that it actually pisses rain the next day. Usually, the last option works out. But it’s a bit like playing Russian roulette.

Last night is a case in point.

7PM. Adam gets home.
Me: “Adam, you working tomorrow?”
Adam: “yeah, why?”
Me: “I think it’s supposed to rain all day. Wanna go to Whiskey Wednesday?”
Adam: “Uhm. … Why the fuck not?”
7-9:30PM Shower. Eat. Primp. Blog.
10:00PM Park near Perl street.
10:20PM. Whiskey Wednesday round 1. Toast to Sean.
10:35PM Whiskey Wednesday round 2. Toast to sean. Wish Andrew were here. Wish Cass had come. Smoke cigarettes.
10:50PM Whiskey Wednesday round 3. Play darts. We’re getting drunk. We comment on how the Sundowner seems to attract the fattest people in Boulder. There are fat guys. And fat girls. We leave.
11:00PM It’s still raining. We smoke a cigarette.
11:10PM We enter Bacaro and get Vodka tonics. We sit down near the dance floor. There’s is hardly anybody here but at least the people present aren’t as fat as the Downer crowd. We talk about Rifle, the Black Canyon, dildos, and whether we are drunk enough to start drunk texting. We start drunk texting.
11:25PM Out of nowhere this girl I’ve never seen drags me to the dance floor. She was no part time model, but at least she was thinner that the fat people we were complaining about. I also think she was on speed because she kept jumping up and down like she was in a mosh pit. I nickname her Jumping Jack girl.
11:45PM We smoke a cigarette with Jumping Jack girl and get introduced to her Obese friend.
11:46PM It’s still raining. We leave for ‘Round Midnight. Jumping Jack girl and her Obese Friend follow us. Adam decides I should hook with Jumping Jack girl and does an admirable job of wingman and starts hitting on and dancing with Obese Friend. I have an epiphany and realize that Jumping Jack Girl is playing wing women for Obese Friend.
12:30PM Obese Girl is grinding on Adam. She is hittin’ the floor and she is happy. Adam looks really bored. And borderline disgusted. Jumping Jack girl is jumping up and down in front of somebody else. We leave.
12:30-1AM We dance at Bacaro.
1AM-1:40AM We dance at Round Midnight.
1:45AM We leave the bar. It’s still raining, which is good. We are fucked up, which is also good. We don’t have a place to crash, which is bad. We order Humdingers (a Gyro with humus) which makes us feel happy. We smoke a cigarette and stumble to the parking garage.
2:00AM It’s still raining. We fall asleep in my car.
5:30AM. I wake up. It’s not raining. There is sunshine outside.
6:15AM. I start driving. It’s still not raining.
6:20AM. Adam gets a text message from his boss. “Fucking shit. I have to work in 2 hours.”

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