Name: Aimee Tetreault (pronounced “tay-tro”)
Age: 25
Location: Newark, Delaware
Hometown: Grew up in a town in Michigan that isn’t even on the map, therefore doesn’t get named.
Relationship status: single
What are you doing right this second?
I’m sucking down a slurpee and just got back from sweating at the gym

Which female climber do you most look up too?

Dude, she’s probably going to read this, but I’ll admit it openly, I have a girl-crush on Aly Dorey. She’s FIERCE, and complicated. Which I like cause I can relate. To the complicated part I mean, not yet on the fierce part.

Describe yourself using your name as an acrostic.

Adorable, Ironic, Messy, Eccentric, Eclectic.

If you were a hip-hop all-star what would you be called?

My gangster name is “Th

e Original Dollface Killa”. It’s my rapper name, for when I become a rapper

I heard you’re a wino. If you could only drink one kind of wine forever which would it be?

Shiraz, and I’m NOT above Yellowtail. Although I have been known to get killer cased of winemouth.

Winemouth? Like purple lips?

Yeah, that weird red ring around your lips, and your teeth are all stained up. I get it REAL BAD

If you weren’t completely obsessed with climbing what would you do instead?

I’ve decided that I need more skills. Guys like girls with skills, so I tried to take up knife throwing, but the studio I was supposed to have my lesson at burnt to the ground.

That’s…a bummer.

I’m tragically upset by all this

How did you decide on knife throwing?

Jason Kehl gave me this awesome throwing dagger thing. It’s heavy, but I think it will work. I’m thinking Chinese stars next. It freaked some of my guy friends out though. They don’t want me to have any sort of ability to kill or maim them, but knife throwing is so Angelina Jolie badass hot.

What’s your ideal date?

Two-day event, starting with dinner. Classy joint. Wine and talking followed by an early morning wakeup to go climbing somewhere not-of-this-world cool.

That’s it? It’s that simple?

Yep, I’m pretty low-key.

Are you two together for the whole night?

That depends on if me meets my hypothetical standards.

Can I give a shout out to the Delaware Rock Gym? Where all of your wildest dreams will come true?

I suppose you just did.

Thanks. www.derockgym.com – we are the only gym I’ve ever heard of that boasts a state-of-the-art regulation arm wrestling table. I’m not even kidding.

And how do you fair? Are you kicking all the boys and girls’ asses?

Eh. Not too bad. This one time this skinny waify model thin girl totally whooped my ass, and afterwards, while I was still in a daze and completely baffled as to how she beat me, she says “Uh…well, I poured concrete for a while…” I’m a lefty though so it throws people off.

A southpaw huh? What’s your favorite thing about the South?

It’s very nice there, nice people. Interesting food. AWESOME rock. I’m not too psyched on grits. I’ll admit, and when I was in Louisiana with my dad everyone thought I was his “lady friend.”

What’s the best part about Delaware? I can’t imagine there is much that’s great about it.

Oh here we go.

NO SALES TAX!!! WHOOPIE!!! We are two hours or less from five major cities. We boast lovely beaches, including the uber-gay-friendly Rehobeth Beach, we have the Dogfish Head brewery, and Wayne’s World put us on the map.

Can I tell a joke? (props to Tim Keenan for this one)

knock knock!

Who’s there?

ieatmop

ieatmop who? Oh I see. I’ve been had. What other skills do you have besides making me feel like an idiot and scaring men with throwing knives?

I’m an ordained minister via the internet and just officiated my friend’s wedding. I am qualified to do weddings, funerals, baptisms, and exorcisms. But I need a special oil to do the exorcisms. It turns out, it’s totally legit!!! All I had to do was type in my name and click on “Ordain Me.” I even have a “clergy” parking pass that gets me all the sweet spots at the funerals. I mean, really, have you EVER tried to park at a funeral? It’s a shit show.

Photos by: Dustin Briggs and Cyril Brunner

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Tags: aimee, cute climber of the week