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How To Tell If You Will Get Laid At A Climbing Festival

20 October 2009 9,216 views 14 Comments
posted by limit

Whether it’s the Rifle Cleanup, the Red River Rendezvous, or the International Climbers Festival, climbing events are awesome. Usually, there is beer, dancing, lots of shenanigans and typically at least a few girls.  And often you end up spending a lot time wondering if you going to get laid. If only you knew the answer ahead of time, you could save yourself a lot time and energy, which might be better spent projecting instead of scheming how to get into some chicks pants that you have no shot with). To help with this difficult task, I created this handy flowchart,


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  • jiggle
    jiggle said:

    i like the circular “are you a good dancer?” part

    • Tim
      Tim said:

      great an true!! thx!

      • Lee
        Lee said:

        So if there’s no free alcohol, there’s no way to get laid. Even in a big cabin. Bummer.

        • Julian
          Julian said:

          So the only ways to get laid are: 1) be a girl, 2) be Sharma, 3) climb like Sharma, or 4) be the beer sponsor. I think you could simplify this chart dramatically without eliminating any critical elements.

          You’re welcome.

          • Mighty
            Mighty said:

            dang!! i’ve been doing it all wrong.

            • dachoppera
              dachoppera said:

              i just pissed myself

              • uber
                uber said:

                you should take dachoppera’s comment and put it under the box labeled “is there free alcohol?”.

                not sure what the yes/no arrows would like like after that though…

                • Mendigo
                  Mendigo said:

                  I almost made it!

                  • keu
                    keu said:

                    Surest way: be a girl. damn.

                    • Lander
                      Lander said:

                      But the beer is free, and the more i drink the more charming I get… They won’t even know that I’ve never had sex till we get back to my friend’s tent

                      • Octosend
                        Octosend said:

                        nice, except don’t confuse the Red and the New…Red River Rendezvous?
                        That would be new river rendezvous… or Rocktoberfest (RRG)

                        • The Return of Pimpin & Crimpin | Splitter Choss
                          The Return of Pimpin & Crimpin | Splitter Choss said:

                          [...] How to Tell if You Will Get Laid at a Climbing Festival – Are you a girl? Are you Chris Sharma? A beer sponsor? [...]

                          • Lance Armstrong
                            Lance Armstrong said:

                            This is the dumbest shit ive ever seen.

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