A Real Diet

posted by wig

Limit caught a little heat for his last dieting article. We get it. The picture might have been a little much. So Bronco and I came up with a new improved dieting plan. It’s not too much different, you just have to contract whatever illness Bronco and I got. It causes some wonderful things to happen. First you wake up with some slight chills, and that weird hotness that comes over you before you’re about to throw up. Oh, yeah, then you throw up. You don’t throw up a little bit either. You throw up the entire contents of your stomach. It’s absolutely wonderful. But lucky for you it doesn’t end there. As soon as you feel like the throwing up is over, the evacuation plan takes a turn for the basement and gives you one of those #3 type situations. I recommend at this point you get a trash can while you’re sitting on the toilet because if you’re lucky you’ll start horking again at the same time!

I realized this was a new diet fad when Bronco and I texted each other at the same time from different bathroom wings of our vast manor.

“Maybe we will lose a lot of weight and then crush!”

“This sucks, surprised there’s that much shit in me. Just think how hard we’ll crush!!!”

Anyway sorry for the lack of good postage. When our skin stops hurting we’ll be back on.

Tags: diet, shit, sick

About The Author: wig

Golden, CO
Age:24

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Wednesday, December 17th, 2008 Main

5 Comments to A Real Diet

“#3 type situations” sums it up perfectly, must admit our slightly cruder expression was Anal-Piss, in similar situations!

Hope it’s all behind you and back up to full strength, albeit with a bit of lost weight.

Lil' Pete on December 17th, 2008
Two things:

1. If you guys wouldn’t make out with each other maybe you wouldn’t get the same sickness. Why isn’t limit puking? Lover’s spat

2. I’ve been to the P&C manor, isn’t the second bathroom wing outside?

Shane Seaton on December 17th, 2008
hope I didn’t give it to you guys via chat last week :(

the good news is, it only took me TWO WEEKS to recover from that horrific illness. so it sounds like you guys have, oh, about 11 more days to go. nooooooo!

get better soon!!! xxxs

steph davis on December 18th, 2008
you both probably have pica, and would be cured if you could stop yourself from eating cigarette butts and toilet paper

dachoppera on December 18th, 2008
Who are you to make fun of me for having to shop in the “Husky Boys” section at Old Navy? Try waddling a mile in my shoes, godamnit!!!

Husky P on December 18th, 2008